Two months out!

Susanne is your driver for this post.

We're now two months away from our RV departure window. We don't have an exact calendar date in mind because... well, we can be flexible. That's part of nomadic living, so we might as well embrace it from the get-go. Our window is defined by the fact that my job and Sam's school year both finish up at the end of May, and we want to pay rent on our current place only through the end of June at the latest. 

When I'm not busy with teaching, I spend a lot of time trying to wrap my head around leaving academia. Is it the right decision? Yes, but the thing is, it takes years of hard work, focus, and sheer determination to get through a Ph.D. and even more of the same - plus a huge dose of luck - to land a tenure-track job. Walking away from something I was so set on achieving isn't easy. Like many who work in academia, a huge part of my identity has been defined by what I do and my contributions to teaching and research. Moreover, my opinions of myself as a person have often been dictated by my job successes and especially my failures. So yes. This is fairly terrifying, TBH.

My knee-jerk tendency to define who I am by what I do, how good my evaluations are, whether I get the grant I apply for, and how others in my field judge my work has become a problem. Some people can handle all of this with aplomb. I don't. Instead, academia turns me into an anxious, stressed-out, working-too-hard, self-conscious basketcase. In the great words of "Office Space," I don't like that so... I'm not going to do it anymore.

Or to paraphrase a farewell-to-academia blog I read a few months back, I thought it would be one way, it's not what I thought it would be like, I tried it, and it wasn't for me.

Since announcing our plans to RV full time, most people have been incredibly supportive and nonjudgmental. A few people have looked at us quizzically and asked, "...but...what will you do?" I don't necessarily think they're judging us. I think it's an honest question that roughly translates into, "How will you support yourselves financially? How will you create a meaningful life if you don't have a job title that reflects your education and training?"

We addressed the first issue a couple of posts back. In reality, we will both have jobs; they'll just be Internet-based jobs, and mine will be part time. My other job will be to homeschool Sam.

As for meaning, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it lately and jotting down what does and doesn't matter to me. It took awhile, but eventually I came up with the following list of my priorities - the things that give me meaning:

• Cultivating a happy and stable family life
• Having autonomy in my work, and doing work that allows me to be creative and problem solve (that's why I like geology and science in general: it requires creativity and problem solving)
• Finding and participating in adventures
• Challenging myself physically 
• Supporting and inspiring others when and how I can
• Making choices that are environmentally and financially responsible

What doesn't matter to me so much:

• Having a lot of money
• Owning a house that's fixed in one spot (that might change in the future, but right now it's not a priority)
• Having the same job for most of my career

I wish I could add "What other people think" to that second list, but that's not true. I'm a sensitive person and I DO care what other people think. I wish I cared less, and I'm hoping that our nomadic lifestyle will help me place less weight on outside opinions.

A friend posted this cartoon on Facebook the other day and it really hit home: "Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement."

That's the big picture I want us to focus on.