Showing posts with label letters from Biscuit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letters from Biscuit. Show all posts

Monday, July 25, 2016

A Letter from Biscuit: A Day in the Life of an RV Cat

Your driver for this post is (The Illustrious) Biscuit.

Good day, humans of the world, and a happy new week to you! As my previous post was clearly quite popular and well received, I thought I should take a few minutes from my very busy schedule to give you more information about the day in the life of an RV cat. I know you have been waiting with bated breath for me to write again, and I apologize for the delay - but you must understand that I do have other obligations. Patience, please.

My day almost always starts out around 4 AM when, although it is still dark outside and my lazy human family is still sleeping, I begin the watch for birds and deer. This is one of my primary jobs in the RV, and though The Humans do not acknowledge it, it is a critical one.


I generally watch from the window of the back bedroom. The challenge is in shoving aside The Lady, who insists that the pillow is hers and hers alone. (Young felines of the world, I have learned that the key in these situations is persistence: by simply meowing repeatedly, scratching at the window, and sticking your back end in your human's face, you can usually get them to back down and relinquish territory. The Lady, though she doth protest, gives in every time.)

Once I am satisfied that the wildlife has been kept at bay, I request my breakfast. They insist on serving me drivel from a bag but occasionally I manage a nip of whatever they're consuming.

I mean look at this stuff. Would YOU eat it?

This smoothie was quite good, though I'd recommend less mango, more mouse.

Sometimes I have to snuggle with The Lady in order to get some food. Shudder.

After breakfast, I play with my best friend, Sam, and then clock in for my main job as The Nice Man's administrative assistant. 



"Do you have an appointment? I don't think you do."

In between my other obligations, I roam our tiny house and make sure everything is in good working order. Oftentimes the RV is not to my standards.

Like this thing. It keeps leaking water:


I sat in here for a good ten minutes in an effort to alert everyone to the problem. The Humans seem unconcerned. Their cluelessness is rather sad, actually.

In the afternoons, Sam and The Nice Man go swimming, and The Lady does something she calls "yoga." I have been forced to participate.



I protest by sitting in Shavasana the entire time. 

In the evenings, while The Humans are brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed, I blow off some steam.


I mean, they keep me trapped here in this tiny moving box. What do they expect will happen?

Yes, life on the road is difficult for an RV cat, but as you can see, I am mustering my strength and persevering nonetheless. Your messages of encouragement are greatly appreciated. Please keep them coming.

(Just don't expect me to respond right away. I have a lot going on.)

Until next time,
Biscuit

Sunday, July 17, 2016

A Letter from Biscuit

Biscuit (that's me!) will be your driver this post.

Dear Reader,

“Guys! Guys! There are birds outside! Get up. Why are they sleeping when there are birds outside their bedroom window????”


I think this every morning and I do my best to let the humans know. Astonishingly, they don't seem to care. I try to wake them up by scratching around the window and tearing at the blinds. I’ve found this to be very effective. However, the sleepy lady has taken to squirting me with water after I do this. What is her problem? Doesn’t she care about birds?


The nice man often doesn’t even open his eyes. I’m not sure what is wrong with him but I still love him. This morning I licked his head - just for fun.

Anyway, that is how I like to start my days in the RV. I’m getting to see many new birds and sometimes rabbits, squirrels, and other possibilities for dinner. This is a fun part of being in the RV. The other bonus is the humans are around a lot more. The big headed one was always around but now I get to spend more time with Sam and the other one. As you can see, Sam is my favorite McDowell.


The worst part of living in this RV is that it moves. I don’t mean just at night when the wind blows but sometimes during the day when they drive our house down the road. At those times, I hide under the front seat until it’s all over. When I look back onto the RV bench I see that my Sam often times has just passed out from the sheer terror. The poor boy! They have even strapped him down so he can’t escape. If they keep doing this to us, I might need to show my disapproval by leaving a “present” on the bed.


Until next time,
Biscuit